First Person Point of View at a Bar (Part II)

A First Person Point of View at a Bar... (Part II)


My face and ears are very red I can tell. I go up to the bar and the bartender hands me a Bud Light. He points to Stephen and tells me he bought it for me. He’s looking at me so I raise my beer to him and take a sip. I say thanks and look at Eleanor to make sure she doesn’t need a drink, but she has a beer in her hand. Big Bart grabs me on the shoulder and tells me we are taking a shot.

He asks Eleanor if she’ll take one with us since we are in love. Bart is such a Jack-Ass. She agrees. Bart and his girlfriend – Jackie are in. I can’t remember her name, what did I call her earlier, Suzanne or something. Shit! I’m drunk. Damn I hate shots. I smell it first and it smells like Jaegermeister. Bart makes a toast for Eleanor and me to get married. Asshole. Us four take the shot. I cringe after I take it. It’s another Jaeger-bomb. Really, is that all anyone takes anymore? I ask myself. I take a sip of my beer to wash it down. I’m plastered I realize. No more shots. Bart makes us four have a group hug. He’s so big he can put his arms around the three of us. I walk with Eleanor back to her friends. I tell her I need to find my friends. She kisses me and tells me to find her later. I’m in love, or am I.

I find Joshua, Stephen, and Shawn talking to a random guy. He’s in his early 40s, sporting a black beard, wearing a faded black, or could be gray, Budweiser hat, with shaggy black hair coming out of the back. I arrive upon the conversation. The random guy is telling the three of them about his trucking business. He’s explaining to them how deli-meat delivery is key right now. The random guy, notices me, turns and asks if I know a guy named Tracy Cooper. I shake my head. He says, “Well you look like this guy I use to work with. You sure you don’t know Tree Climber.”

This guy is drunker than a skunk. I decide “what the hell” this could be fun, and tell him I know the guy he was referring to, Tracy Something. I then tell the fellow that I recognize him and convince him we used to work together. He gets excited and shakes my hand and pats me on the back, and says, over exuberantly, “I thought I recognized you. We played softball together.” I make up a guys name on the team and he says he remembers him too. He then asks again, “You know Tree Climber? Yeah, Ol’ Tree Climber? Ol’ Tree Climber Tracy Cooper?” I nod my head. He’s very excited now. “Yeah, Ol’ Tree Climber Tracy Cooper. He’d rather climb a tree and tell a lie than stand on the ground and tell the truth.” I look at my three friends and we all smile. He then breaks into an elaborate story about how Tracy Cooper just spent eight months in prison for driving one of his eighteen-wheeler trucks, drunk, into a friend’s four car garage, totaling his ’96 corvette. Then fought off the cops until it took about ten to bring him in; putting two in the hospital, but not severely injuring them.

I finally zone out from the conversation and ponder what I am going to do tomorrow. I’m hungry I realize. Shouting breaks out. I look up and see two guys pushing their way towards each other, obviously trying to fight each other. They are over by the bar’s only pool table. They are shouting at each other. Sounds like from the shouting, they are fighting over who gets to shoot the next game of pool. Kind of entertaining. They eventually calm down and shake hands. The music from the jukebox stops and no other music comes on. Yes! I say to myself. Finally I get to play some music.

I walk over to the jukebox, and on my way over I look at my watch, 23:32. The bar is crowded, but I’ve seen worse. I start flipping through the songs and pick out a few good songs I think will be good to play. I pull out my wallet, because the machine only takes $1, $5, and $10s, and realize I only have 20 dollar bills on me. Frustrating... I take a deep breath, look at the ceiling, and cuss myself.

I turn around and Eleanor is standing behind me with four $1 bills. I give her a hug and thank her. She says she saw me fumbling through my wallet and decided to come over. I put the four dollars in, which let’s you play ten songs. I ask her to help me pick out some songs. I put in a dollar, and choose “Luckenbach, Texas” by Waylon Jennings. The record comes on and Waylon’s voice starts singing,

“There’s only two things in life that makes it worth livin’, That’s guitars that tune good and firm feelin’ women…”

She says she loves this song. Before we pick anymore songs, I tell her we are dancing. We dance to the song, but not very gracefully because we’ve both had a lot to drink. I dip her, a couple of times, and we do the “Pretzel” dance move, a few times. “Who cares what everyone thinks.” I think to myself. At the end of the song, I dip her, hold her in the dip, and kiss her. A couple sitting close by claps for us. I bring her back up and she hugs me and tells me, “Thanks! I’ve been waiting a year for someone to ask me to dance, here at this bar.” I then say, “Where have you been my whole life?” She kisses me on the cheek.

We go back to the jukebox and finish picking our play list. I pick “St. Jude” by the Beatles. She smiles and says I’m Old Fashioned. We then decide to play, “Going to California” by Led Zeppelin, “Hollywood Nights” and “Mainstreet” by Bob Seger, “Bad Moon Rising” and “Midnight Special” by Creedence Clearwater Revival, and “(We’re Not) The Jet Set” and “He Stopped Loving Her Today” by George Jones. She picks two other songs but I don’t really notice. I’m just happy she’s having fun with me.

She tells me I should bring my three buddies over to talk to her friends. We all went to high school together and know each other, but Eleanor’s friends are three years younger. She says they are being kind of bitchy tonight and they need some guys to talk to because they are taking this girl’s night out way too far. Only one of them has a boyfriend, but they are on the rocks. I tell her that her friends are hot and maybe I should keep them to myself. She punches me in the arm. Wow, that kind of hurt. I tell her it sounds like a plan.


I walk up to the three of them still listening to the guy tell a story about his sister dyeing her hair purple or something. Who cares? “Well guys. The girls with Eleanor wants yall to come over and at least give them some attention.”

Shawn decides to chime in. “Oh, well look at you. You get lucky as hell and kiss a hot girl and all of the sudden you decide to be Mr. Matchmaker.” I smile, I can’t hide my smile. I can feel my ears turning red. “Cheesin’ for a reason, ain’t you.” He fixes my collar and then dusts off my shoulders. “I’m in. Shit, why not. I call the short one, guys… Lisa. She’s mine.”

Josh replies back jokingly. “Whatever Shawn. Too bad you are such a little bitch. She’ll drop you like a bad habit. I’ll decide what girl I’m gonna hit on. I don’t need you calling girls, walking around like you shit doesn’t think. Fine take her. But don’t be made when she falls in love with me.”

“In your dreams, man!” Shawn responds.

Stephens shy around girls so he doesn’t say anything.

The three of them get up and say bye to the guy they are talking to. We venture over to the girls. They are talking about politics. I slide in beside Eleanor and introduce everyone. Even though I haven’t spoken to her other four friends since I’ve been at the bar, I remember their names from high school, Lisa, Sarah, Kellie, and Sam.

Stephen, of all people, says, “Yeah, Romeo, we all know each other. Damn, you’ve been away too long.” I realize how drunk he is. He isn’t shy at all around girls anymore. He hugs Sam. Everyone starts talking to each other. Kellie reminds me how I once misspelled her name with a “y” and Sam tells me how she had a crush on me in middle school because I was always showing off at church. I decide to give her a hug and tell her how I remember how much fun church was. She says to Eleanor that we are such a cute couple. “What” I think to myself. We just made out at the bar. This girl is trying to get us married. Damn Women! “We’re not the Jet Set” comes on the Jukebox. I ask Eleanor to dance.

“I’m sorry for being a drunkard.” I apologize to her. She tells me I’m fine. “I forgot how everyone knows each other. Stephen acts like he’s a ladies man now.”

“He’s not. Him and Sam dated for about two months. They are both really shy. Stephen gets drunk and really starts talking. He’s so cool, and he is so funny when he’s got some drinks in him. They are so in love with each other, but won’t admit it. Look at them.” Stephen was up at the bar. He had his back turned to it, but it appears he bought her a drink and was flirting with her. He just hugged her. Way to go Stephen, I say to myself.

“Well good for them. I didn’t know about that.”

Eleanor makes me spin her. I then spin her in to me. She puts both of her arms around my neck and puts her head on my shoulder. I get flushed and start sweating a little. I push away from her a little and start singing along with Tammy Wynette and George Jones,

“No we’re not the jet set/ We’re the old Chevrolet set/ Our steak and martinis/ Is draft beer with weenies.”

I tell her this is our song, then decide to go for it and kiss her. She looks me in the eye, puts her hand behind my head, pulls me to her and starts making out with me. I’m in love, I think. The song begins to fade out so I spin her again, then dip her. She grabs my hand and we walk back to the group. I hear someone mutter, “Get a room.” What a cliché I think. That line is so old. "Fuck ‘er dude" is what I would’ve said, inappropriate to say publicly, but funny. Oh well.

Stephen and Sam are obviously going to hook up. Josh is telling a joke, one I’ve heard a million times, about condoms. The other three girls are eating it up. I’m on cloud nine, though. I’m kind of lightheaded. I think it’s because I can’t believe I’ve been making out with Eleanor. I hope she’s not drunk and is gonna ditch me tomorrow. She doesn’t seem too drunk. Who cares? Tonight was cool. I notice the guy I met earlier tonight, Josh. What a tool bag? He has his arm around the girl he is with, whispering into her ear. I have an idea and decide, this’ll be really funny.


I whisper into Eleanor’s ear. “Watch this. I’m gonna walk over to that chair where that couple is sitting and try to sit down. I’m gonna act like I’m plastered and miss the chair. So run over and act like you are making sure I’m okay.” Okay, she says back and smiles at me.

I walk over to the table. Even though I’m really drunk, I act like I can barely walk. “Josh!” I call out and wave before I’m halfway there. “Hey man, how’s it going?” I’m can’t contain my smile, but play it off by say, “Hey man, good to see you.” I arrive at their table. “How’s tonight been?” The girl and he stand up. We shake hands and he introduces me to the girl. I can barely hear him say what the girl’s name is. “Cum On Feel the Noize” by Quiet Riot is blaring. I introduce myself to the girl. I thought he said her name was Anna, or Anne. Don’t know. They both sit down. I face them, then feel for my seat and make sure it is far enough away so I’ll miss it. I go to sit down and miss my chair by a mile.

I realize I fell harder than was intended. The chair somehow is lying on top of me. I’m in some pain. My butt-bone and right elbow feel bruised really bad. I just lie there. I hear people shouting stuff. I’m moaning in pain. I see Eleanor and Josh, the chotch, standing over me, Eleanor is smiling. I feel her soft hand grab mine and ask if I’m okay. I regain my wits. I get up. Josh asks me if I’m okay. I start laughing in his face. Eleanor puts my arm around her to carry me away. She is laughing hysterically. “Later man!” I say to him. Eleanor carries me back to the group. She puts both of her hands on my face. “That was awesome. Everyone in the place is laughing and probably looking at you right now. That was so funny.” She kisses me and asks if I’m okay. I just nod my head. I’m in a little pain. Who cares, I’m wasted.


A big guy in black pants and a black shirt walks up. He’s got the bar logo on his shirt. “Sir, I’m sorry but you are gonna have to leave. Way too much to drink.”

“Wait, I was just foolin’ around. You didn’t think I meant to… No… I’m fine. I was just messing with that goober over there… Hold on…”

“I’m sorry Sir, but you have to go. The owner is here tonight and he said you need to leave.” I start to argue with him but realize it is gonna cause a commotion. I tell him that is gay and I should be able to play a drunk joke if I want to. He still insists I need to leave. Well there goes my night. Eleanor grabs my sleeve and tells me we should go to another bar anyway. Check out something different. Sounds good to me. She says that they are parked out back. We are parked out front, so I tell her to meet me around front. She kisses me and tells me she’ll see me in a minute.

Josh is signing out his tab at the bar. I’m actually really, really drunk and start stumbling toward the door. I bump into Josh, kind of push him with my shoulder as I walk by him. He looks at me, and while shaking his head, gives me the “not now” look. We walk by the bouncer, the one we know, Kevin. He tells us to take it easy boys and to be careful. I tell him I was just kidding and give him a five, but Josh grabs me and tells me to come on. We get into the stairwell, and I decide to tackle Josh on about the fifth step down. We start wrestling and fall down a couple of steps. I’m laughing and he cusses me for being a drunk ass.

I get up and take a step another step down, then get tackled by Josh. We are sort of wrestling and sliding down a few steps at the same time, laughing. Stephen yells at us, “Children! Children! We’re out in public. Cut this shit out. What the hell are yall doing. Seriously yall.” After about fifteen seconds we finally stop wrestling. I’m out of breath, kind of laughing a little. Geez, I’m out of shape. Josh and I laugh and put our arms around each other and walk down the rest of the steps. Stephen says to us, sort of jokingly, but kind of seriously, “Yall need to grow up. Seriously yall. Act your age.” I go in for the tackle around his legs, but am so tired I miss. I lay on the ground trying to catch my breath. I hear a car coming around the corner, so I jump up.

It’s a Toyota Highlander. The backseat window rolls down. It’s Eleanor. I walk up to the car. She asks, “What were you doing on the ground? Why are you out of breath?” I say jokingly, “Hey girl quit asking so many questions. Dang!” I tell her that I was wrestling with Josh in the stairwell, then tried to tackle Stephen and missed. She laughs and says that is too funny. She then asks, “Where are we going next…”

I jump into the car with the girls and tell my friends to meet us at the new bar, "The Python"

Stephen tells Sam he'll see her there.

"Later Dudes!" I yell to them, and we drive off.